What a difference a year makes

In August 2015 I attended a women’s retreat. It was just a year earlier that I had attended the same retreat and felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. It was a time of great trials and tribulation. My life was off balance and I was more consumed with work than I was focused on my family. I got up early and went to bed late. Worry, anxiety and fear were constantly at the doorstep of my life. Some how I managed to make it through that crazy time. I needed Jesus more than ever but I bought into the lie that if I just kept working and getting things done everything would be ok — that everything would work out. I was striving…striving to do only what the Lord could do which was bring peace to my life.

Cease striving and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10a

The reality was I was living in fear. I was laidened with the what-ifs and could-haves…I wasn’t walking close enough to the Lord to see the light on the path. By God’s grace and mercy He rescued me from the fear and anxiety I was living in. He reminded me that it wasn’t my load to carry and I needed to be still and trust in Him. I needed to cast all my cares on Him because only He could carry what I was trying to do alone. If you’ve ever had a season of life where you were fearful and worried you know how difficult it is to be still.

Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

Over the next several months, as I meditated on God’s Word and promises, I shifted from striving in my own strength to being still in His presence. The more time I spent with Him and was still the more My life started to balance. I was resting in the Lord’s care and love. The chaos of life was still swirling around me but I was at peace; unscathed by the craziness. A year later I could clearly see that God was working out all the details. What others meant for harm, God meant for good, He preserved me and worked it all out for my good.

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. Genesis 50:20

 In our moments of deepest worry and fear God reaches down from Heaven and rescues us. He isn’t a distant God He is a God that lives with us.

A year later I found myself sitting on the same bench at the women’s retreat and this time I was at peace. What a difference a year makes!